Chapter 8 - Kids

My wife, Joann, and I wanted children from the very first. However, we were apprehensive about the possiblity that any child of a diabetic has a tendency toward diabetes. We've studied all sorts of reports about genetic diabetes where the theory was that a generation is generally skipped before diabetes appears in offspring (now known to be false).

Other studies talk about diabetes being caused by childhood diseases - more recent studies even pointing to colds. DNA experiments have even isolated the 'diabetes' gene, although as yet, no one has been able to inhibit its generation.

Always being uninhibited with children, especially infants, I wanted a family as soon as possible. Our first daughter was born December 22, 1970. We brought her home on Christmas day, hence we named her Noel. She was our song of praise. Her middle name is Ruth after Joann's grandmother.

We celebrated with family a few days later. What occurred at my parents house is noteworthy. Invited for supper, we ate, opened presents, and had a beautiful family time together. It was dark when we started getting ready to go home. I went out to warm up the Corvair, returning to the house to start carrying presents to the car. On my last trip I had both arms full. I carried Noel in her carrier over one arm and a present in the other. Tempted to put the carrier on the car roof to open the door, I changed my mind and put the present there instead. Joann and I said our goodbyes, backed out of the driveway and headed home. In my rearview mirror I noticed an object come off the roof and start bouncing down the highway. Numerous times I've agonized over that object bouncing on the road possibly being Noel in her carrier. After pulling over to pick up the present, which was a 5" Sony TV that Joann could use in the kitchen, I only assumed it would be broken to pieces. Sony did a great job packing that box. There wasn't even a scratch on the TV and it worked for over six years.

Noel, as a baby, suffered from colic. My work hours really helped because I would get home shortly after midnight and handle baby duty so Joann could get some sleep before she went to work at 7AM. We had a rocking chair which my grandfather had made by hand. It had been handed down to my mother, who handed it down to me. Rocking Noel was the only thing that put her to sleep at night. Many a night I would fall asleep with her on my shoulder in that chair.

At eleven months Noel decided to get up and walk, never having crawled. Joann and I were glad we were both young because we were both chasing around trying to keep up with our little girl. It got even more challenging when we found out our family was going to expand again and our mobile home wasn't going to be big enough. Buying a fix-me-up summer cottage in Sound Beach, I tested my construction ability. Soon, I had winterized the house and, eventually put on two extensions, digging out by hand the entire crawl space putting in a basement. Krista Louise was born in that house on July 11, 1973. Our little miss lucky (7-11).

During the latter months of Joann's pregnancy with Krista, when Joann could no longer bowl in our bowling league, I found a young man, Bob Lily, to fill in for her. The night of my highest game ever, Joann was not present. We bowled at the Rocky Point Bowling Alley and that night we were on lanes 15 & 16. Lane 16 was right next to the east wall.
During my third game I rolled ten strikes in a row starting in frame one. Believing the eleventh ball to be a strike as well I was appalled to see the ten pin wobble but stay standing. Normally a quiet, patient man and not knowing what caused my reaction, I turned to the wall and punched it with all my force. Breaking three metacarpal in my right hand, I was unable to finish the game. Bob drove my car to take me to the hospital. Can you imagine that Joann had no sympathy for me when I finally got home?

I never would have believed how different two sisters could be from each other. Both beautiful kids (yes I'm a little prejudiced), Noel was the leader, Krista the follower. Noel being very loud, Krista being very quiet. Somewhere along the line, maybe when Noel was six and Krista four, we realized that disciplining either child took different strategies. With Noel, we first had to holler to get her attention, send her to her room until she got over being mad, then talk to her and explain how what she had done was wrong and how we expected her to react in the future. Trying this approach with Krista was a disaster. Krista has always tried to do exactly what her father and mother asked of her. When she did things wrong it was because she was following her sister's lead or just didn't know any better. One day I simply raised my voice to Krista in reprimand and she broke down in tears. From then on we only had to stop her from what she was doing and tell her not to do it again.

Both girls delighted us in so many ways. Shortly after Krista was born and both girls tested negative to diabetes, Joann and I decided 'not to push the odds' regarding a child with diabetes. I had an operation. We felt so proud of the girls and relieved they were both healthy.

Always being available to the kids was an absolute passion of mine. No matter what time of day or night, they were comfortable enough to pull me aside and speak what was on their mind or discuss what had happened during their day. Even when subjects got really personal and Joann got embarassed by some of the questions, Dad would simply give the best advice he was capable of. The "no hesitation, no condescension" attitude paid off high dividends in later years. If either of the girls had had a hard time it was Dad's lap they curled up into. Years later, after each of the girls had a small infant of their own (of course separate occasions separated by years), I was called in the wee hours of the morning because they couldn't quiet down the baby. Arriving at the house, it was only minutes before my grandchild would calm down and go to sleep on my shoulder. On her respective occasion Noel turned and lovingly said to me, "Dad I hate you".

Lack of good diabetes control can cause all sorts of emotional instability. When I occasionally had a high blood sugar I found I was out of sorts, even testy. Being there for my wife and kids was always one BIG incentive to keep under the best possible control I was capable of.

Krista was attending Vacation Bible School (VBS) one summer at Sound Beach Community Church where we were members. The Pastor asked the kids if there was anyone whose father would be able to bring a real live sheep for a special function during VBS. Krista immediately raised her hand and said, "My Dad can get anything!" What a spot I was in. No way was I going to let my daughter down if I didn't have to, but where in the world was I going to get a sheep. Telling my story to a friend at work, Karl Abrams responded by telling me his father-in-law raised sheep. There was a very happy little girl and a very surprised Pastor the day I drove up with sheep in my truck.

Matthew 18:2-6-NIV He called a little child and had him stand among them. And he said: "I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. And whoever welcomes a little child like this in my name welcomes me. But if anyone causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a large millstone hung around his neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea."